15 weeks

P painted the nursery this weekend.  We went with Benjamin Moore's Stonington Gray and I love it! Beadboard will go up in the next few weeks and then I will be sure to post pictures.  We have picked out both the crib and dresser from The Land of Nod, hope to order both some time in early January.  I think if I wasn't a teacher I might have gone into some type of party/event planning.  I had so much fun planning my wedding and am loving every second of planning this nursery for our little baby.

I had a tough night Friday night.  Whenever I think I am doing great, reality slaps me in the face and I realize maybe I am not doing so great.  We went out with good friends who announced they were 8 weeks pregnant after 3 months of trying.  So, I came home and sobbed.  P couldn't understand why and I could only express my feelings through anger.  It's not that I am not happy for them I am sometimes just struck at the unfairness.   Even talking about our pregnancies its as though we are living in two different worlds...our thoughts, fears, concerns, couldn't be more different.  Then I called my mom. She always makes me feel better.  My mom reminded me that my baby will never be taken for granted, my baby will be filled with more love than sometimes thought possible because this baby has been wanted and desired more than humanly thought possible.  Because of our struggle, this baby is going to have a wonderful life and P and I are going to be wonderful parents because we know how much of a miracle the chance to have a baby really is.   My mom reminded me that all that matters now is the little life I have growing inside of me so I am choosing to focus on that.  And when I start to feel sad, I need to put my hand over my belly and remind myself of this wonderful little gift that deserves nothing but the absolute best of me.  She also reminded me of the pain so many of you are still dealing with on a daily basis in your struggles to beat infertility.  My mom is a very smart woman.

With all that, I am so excited to be 15 weeks pregnant!

How far along: 15 weeks
Total weight gain: 6-7 pounds...could I really gain one pound a week from here on out?  Scary thought...
Maternity clothes: all of my pants are maternity, still need to find some leggings, and have a few comfy tops from Gap
Stretch marks: No
Sleep: Not terrible, but not great....I am able to stay up way later than just a few weeks ago, love having more energy!!
Miss Anything?  Being able to go to the bathroom without any issues i.e. constipation, weird pains, constant peeing
Movement: No, but anxiously waiting!! Must be getting close!
Food cravings: Nothing new...still love my snacks and can't get enough orange juice
Anything make you queasy or sick: Lettuce (of course it can't be Doritos or chocolate!)
Have you started to show yet: without a doubt, I teased my kids today telling them to stop laughing at my chubby belly and they laughed and laughed!  Already had a few people at work touch my stomach, I thought I would be uncomfortable by the gesture but I love it, I love the excitement. 
Boy or Girl: Not sure, but really anxious to find out.  The old wives tales are doing nothing for me.
Looking forward to: Our anatomy scan which is November 30th!  We will be asking the tech to write down whether it is a boy or girl on a piece of paper and then wrapping it to put under the tree and open it Christmas morning!! Ahhh...definitely husband's idea....I hate waiting...am a very impatient person...don't know if I can do it!  But, it is important to P, so I will try.