Still Sitting Here

I am still sick, even after 5 days of antibiotics.  My sore throat is gone but I have developed an awful cough over the past day or two (almost bronchitis-like) and went to bed last night with the chills and a slight fever.  Hopefully some Mucinex and Tylenol will do the trick today.  I guess I can cross another month off the list...

Mother's Day is tomorrow and I don't really have any feelings about it except that to realize that I have the best mother in the entire world, and for that I am beyond grateful. She is and continues to be my source of strength throughout all of this.  Here are a few pictures of us getting ready on my wedding day, I cannot put into words how much she means to me...

I have not ever been pregnant, not for an hour, a day, a week, I have never seen even the slightest of second lines.  I have never felt that twinge of excitement, or that anticipation of telling P and our families.  This Mother's Day isn't bringing about feeling of anger or sadness (yet), although I may feel differently tomorrow, it is just making my longing that much deeper.

A longing to have a belly that others look at with admiration

A longing to have that "glow" that everyone refers to when they are pregnant

A longing to have a baby (my baby) look up at me and know that I am his/her mommy

That longing is so deep, that it hurts, somedays worse than others, but is always hurts...