Actually, I have 22 kids (everyday from 8-3)

One of the things that I genuinely look forward to every day is being with my first graders.  I was running math centers this afternoon watching them interact with each other and it is so amazing to see how far they have come. 

I teach in a city, not an "inner city" but a city, and over the past 6 years I have had students who have been homeless, spent endless nights in a car, watched their parents overdose on drugs, been through messy divorces and custody battles, and believe it or not I have had 3 students that have lost a parent...some of my kids have had it rough, really rough and they depend on me for so much more than teaching them how to read or how to add and subtract.

Very early on in my teaching career I realized that although academics is of the "utmost" importance, these kids need to want to learn, they have to want to come to school, they have to buy into the program I am trying to sell them, they have to "care."  After realizing that I decided that many of my students needed to learn life skills almost as much as they needed to learn everything else.  Although I put smiley faces on papers, and give a student a high five when they get all their words right on a spelling test, I make a far bigger deal when I see students helping one another, offering to tie a friend's shoes, or comforting a classmate when they are upset.  Those are the real successes in my classroom. 

This year I have had one student have an accident on the floor, 3 times, and while the first time was shocking to the class, the next two times, I had 2-3 students ask me if they could take him to the nurse, and tell me not to worry, they wouldn't let the other kids see.  Those are the moments that make me proud as a teacher.  My classoom is a community, and they look out for each other, show kindness toward one another. Those are skills that I hope will stay with them forever.

I had a little boy last year who had an extremely difficult time with transitions.  He had been at a different school the previous year, in a half-day kindergarten program.  So, he was coming into first grade at a brand new school, for a FULL day.  The first few weeks he spent crying, rolling around on the floor, and throwing rocks at me at recess (true story!)  By the end of the school year he was a different child, nearly unrecognizeable, and the greatest gift he gave me was when he told me on the last day of school he didn't know what he would do without me in second grade (or so I thought.)  Amazingly, he went into second grade functioning like a typical 7 year old, merely waving at me, or yelling my names when he saw me in the halls.  At first it made me sad to realize I had put all that hard work into him and he didn't need me anymore.  Then I realized what an amazing feat this was for him.  He didn't need me anymore, it kind of made me think of the job of a parent.  You prepare them for the real world, and hope they still want you to be a part of it as they grow older, but you also hope they don't need you to survive in it, you hope you have taught them how to function independently in society.

I write this as I prepare give myself another shot.  I need to keep reminding myself how lucky I am.  So many people hate their jobs and mine continues to be a source of comfort and relief from this crazy life I am currently living.  Sadly, the shots have become easier, I can pretty much do them in under 30 seconds (still pausing a few second before to think I can't believe I am sticking this needle into my stomach).  I don't want this to become my new "normal," like brushing my teeth every night before I go to bed.  But, for now it is, and just for now, I am okay with it... 

Hooray for 3 day weekends...and more monitoring on Saturday, I sure hope I got some good growth over these past 5 days!!