IVF #2

Start Date:  Monday, February 2, 2015

Needle Count: 36

Blood Draws: 7

Ultrasounds: 5



February 2: begin birth control pills

February 11: 10 units of Lupron @ 6:10 am

• bloated and diahrea (maybe nerves?)

February 12: 10 units of Lupron @ 6:10 am

February 13: 10 units of Lupron @ 6:30 am

February 14: 10 units of Lupron @ 7:00 am

February 15: 10 units of Lupron @ 7:00 am

• took last BCP

February 16: 10 units of Lupron

February 17: 10 units of Lupron

February 18: 10 units of Lupron

February 19: 10 units of Lupron

• really tired and no energy

February 20: 10 units of Lupron before baseline appt.

• 8 am baseline b/w and u/s (everything looks good)
• 10 am acupuncture  (trying someone new this go round!)

February 21: 10 units of Lupron

Begin Stimulating Drugs (2 shots a day)

February 22: lower dosage of Lupron to 5 units

• begin 75 units of Gonal-f (starting out super low to avoid OHSS and will be going in earlier then usual for bloodwork on Wednesday morning to check my estradiol)
• retrieval date should fall around March 5, my 32nd birthday 

February 23: 5 units of Lupron

• 75 units Gonal-f

February 24: 5 units of Lupron

• 75 units Gonal-f
• accupuncture

February 25: 5 units of Lupron

• b/w (e2 came back at 259 so instructed to lower dose)
• 50 units of Gonal-f

February 26: 5 units of Lupron

• 50 units of Gonal-f

February 27: 5 units of Lupron

• b/w and u/s (e2 came back at 220, so it dropped, told to up dose)
• 75 units of Gonal-f
• accupuncture

February 28: 5 units of Lupron

• 75 units of Gonal-f

March 1: 5 units of Lupron

• b/w
• e2 levels still look terrible, only 279
• going up to 112.5 Gonal-f tonight & tomorrow night

March 2: 5 units of Lupron

• nauseous most of the morning
• bloated
• 112.5 Gonal-f

March 3: 5 units of Lupron

• b/w and u/s 
• left ovary measured 51 mm x 38 (HUGE) with 3 measurable follicles and tons of smaller ones measuring between 9 and 11, they do not consider them measurable until they are a "12"
• my right came back at 36x20 with 1 measurable follicle and lots of smaller ones 
• e2 came back at 1,050 (yikes!)
• lower Gonal-f to 50 units 
• dr. wrote prescription for cabergoline that I will need to take the same night of my trigger shot to hopefully lessen the effects of overstimulating 
• accupuncture appt. after work 

March 4: 5 units of Lupron

• 50 units of Gonal-f

March 5: 5 units of Lupron

• b/w and u/s
• left ovary & right ovary both measuring around 50x35
• about 5 measurable follicles on left and 1 on right, but tons of little ones still, lead follicle is about 16 mm
• nurse believes I will trigger Friday or Saturday night
• continue with 50 units gonal-f and back to clinic tomorrow am 
• lining is about 9.7 

March 6: TRIGGER tonight @ 6:30 pm

• b/w and u/s 
• nurse was really great and explained that I had 6-7 measurable follicles, with only 3 of those being mature and about 15 smaller ones (that are never going to grow now)
• as of this morning, nurse though they would probably push me a few more days
• accupuncture @ 12:15  
• @ 3pm got the phone call e2 dropped to 1300, body is trying to ovulate on its own
• now instructed to trigger tonight at 6:30 pm and go in for retrieval Sunday morning 
• 0.5 mg Cabergoline   

March 7: first day in the last 4 weeks without a shot to take

March 8: 7:30 am Egg Retrieval

• retrieved 8 eggs

March 9: began crinone suppositories

• spoke with embryologist
• of the 8 eggs, only 3 were mature, and only 2 fertilized correctly

March 10: continue crinone

• spoke with embryologist; still have 2 embryos...1 is a 2-cell and 1 is a 4-cell
• transfer is set...please let one make it!

March 11: P's birthday

• doctor recommends transferring both embryos (one is 8-cell but poor quality, other is 5-cell but looks perfect)
• only transfer 1 (the 5-cell which has already multiplied to 7-cell!)

March 16: 5dp3dt

• felt a little cramping and some stomach pains

March 18: 7dp3dt

• POSITIVE test

March 23: 12dp3dt

• BETA #1: 378

March 25: 14dp3dt

• BETA #2: 750

April 1: 21dp3dt

• BETA #3: 9,676

April 13: u/s

• one strong little baby
• were able to see and hear heartbeat, right around 150

Fears, Questions, & Knowing Too Much

I am a control freak, so in some ways getting biweekly monitoring has been good for me (although I don't think it will help me get through possible subsequent pregnancies because I know it is so atypical!)

We went in yesterday for our monitoring appts. (also the day we see the doctor once a week.)  Little girl was very active so I didn't have to be on the NST long which was good because they do nothing but stress me out, staring at her heartbeat for 20 mins and analyzing whether or not it is getting too high/low.  A few weeks ago I was hooked up and her heartbeat dropped into the 90s, the nurse came running in and told me to take a few deep breaths and it came right back up but boy was it scary!  Luckily it hasn't happened again, that I am aware of.

We also get quick u/s every time I go in so they can check my fluids and placenta.  Baby has been head down since about week 26, WAY HEAD DOWN.  We haven't seen her face in over 10 weeks.  And I get ultrasounds twice a week!  At our last growth scan which was almost 4 weeks ago they were not even able to measure her head.  The u/s tech teases me about it, not understanding how I can walk or don't spend every 5 seconds at the bathroom.  And to be honest, I really don't understand it either.  Luckily my cervix has been sealed tight or else this baby could have come a lot sooner.

My doctor did an internal two weeks ago along with the Strep B test which came out negative (thank god, one test that came out fine!)  And when she offered another check last week, I denied it.  So, I knew going in this week I was probably going to get checked again.  I am currently 37w4d, which is still considerably early for a first time mom.  The problem is, I am getting induced at exactly 39w (for medical reasons.)  The cervix check is pretty much excruciating because my cervix is STILL way behind the baby's head.  She dug around with one hand and then tried the other hand, and finally said, "Lindsay, her head is RIGHT THERE!"  Normally that would be awesome, my body is getting ready, except that, it is so low she had NO CHANCE of finding my cervix.  Meaning, my cervix has not moved forward AT ALL.  During most of your pregnancy your cervix will be high and closer to your bottom, as labor nears, it will move forward and should move in front of the babies head.  I have made no progress with that.  We have another appt. with the doctor next week (our last appt. before the induction) and she told me she may have to torture me a little, yes she used the word "torture."  She wants me to practice breathing, find my Zen.  Haha, yeah right. She said something about possibly having to use a speculum and doing everything she could to see what is going on with my cervix.  When I go for my induction, they are going to need full access to my cervix, especially if I am not dilated at all, because the goal is to ripen my cervix the night before the induction and then slowly introduce pitocin the next morning.  From the sounds of it, because baby is so low, if we can get my cervix to cooperate EVER, labor will move very fast.

I feel like people only write horror stories about inductions and am afraid of what mine is going to be like if my cervix continues to be so high.  I know things can change quickly and I am going to spend a lot of time walking and on my feet this next week.  But, to be honest, I am a teacher, I am always on my feet.  And she has been head down for months now.  Why should I expect anything to change over the next few days?  Instead of going to the hospital the 23rd, we will be going in the night before for cervical ripening.  I freaked out in the car ride home last night and told P that I couldn't do this anymore.  I want to fast forward 2 weeks and just be home with her.  Unfortunately, that isn't possible, so I gotta put my big girl pants on and figure out how I am going to deal with all of this.  And hope that in the meantime SOMETHING, ANYTHING happens with the positioning of my cervix, otherwise I am afraid I may pass out at my doctor's appt. next week, from fear alone!!

On another note, how has what you have gone through in your current or past pregnancies or even attempts to get pregnant impacted your thoughts about future pregnancies?  I know everyone says you forget what happens during the birth and your body forgets making you ready for more, but what about the pain of infertility and a tough pregnancy?  Do you really forget that stuff?  I always wanted three children, it is down to two now.  Last night I told P I don't know if I can go through this again, and if we choose to, it may not be for a long time.  Maybe that will change when she is here and we are head over heels in love with her and can't imagine life without her.  But, for right now, I don't know where we are at.  Anyone else have mixed feelings?

Still Here!

Where to begin?

It has been months since I have blogged, not even sure if too many of you check my blog anymore but I thought it was time to catch people up a little bit.

I am currently 36w2d pregnant.  I know, I can't believe it either!

I had thought getting past the infertility issues would be difficult, and they were (and continue to be) but it was compounded by the b/w that came back sometime in the second trimester.  Since getting those results (which I know can often be wrong or false positives) I have been considered a "high risk" pregnancy and that has made these last few months really difficult on me.  I have had lots of up and lots of downs.  We were initially afraid the b/w indicated some kind of issue with baby's spine, but after having a level II ultrasound, that was just about ruled out.  So, when high AFP goes unexplained, it sometimes puts pregnant women at higher risk for pre-eclampsia, pre-term labor, stillbirth, and a wide range of other things.

Since reaching week 32, I have been at the doctors twice a week every week and will continue to do that until I get induced at week 39.  Each time I have a NST and u/s, and once a week I also meet with my doctor.  In addition I have been getting growth scans every 4 weeks since week 26.  Everything has continued to look good, but the extra tests are exhausting and stressful!  They are checking to make sure my fluids are okay, the placenta is still working, and babe is still measuring on track.  Out first growth scan, she came out in the 70th percentile, second growth scan she measured in the 59th percentile and our most recent one (which was two weeks ago) she was in the 39th percentile.  Yes, she has continued to measure smaller every few weeks, but the doctor isn't concerned, so I am trying not to stress about it too much (haha yeah right!)  Once again, all the nurses, secretaries, u/s techs know me by name because I am there so much (just like with IVF.)

I also failed my Glucose Test, not once, not twice, but three times!  I initially failed the 1-hour and kept hearing from everyone how common it was and I would pass the 3-hour with flying colors.  Of course that didn't happen, I failed 2 separate 3-hour tests.  Protocol would be for me to take another at week 38, but at that point I will be a few days away from being induced so my doctor cut me a break and told me it could just be a fluke or the way my levels would be throughout pregnancy (it was always the second hour blood draw that went up, the other 3 blood draws looked good.)  Needless to say, I feel like every test I have been given I have failed miserably.  Every time the office calls I cringe thinking it is more bad news.

I know I will regret not doing bump updates and have weekly notes to look back on but to be honest it has really been difficult for me to fully embrace this pregnancy.  So many of my friends have gotten pregnant and not had to deal with any of this, it makes it really hard for me to relate to them.  They have ultrasound pictures and pregnancy things all over their facebook pages and at times it is just too much for me.  I have a hard time sympathizing with pregnant people over their lack of sleep when I keep worrying whether or not today will be the day I go in for my NST/ultrasound and they tell me something is wrong and the baby has to come out NOW!

The pregnancy itself has been fairly easy on me (which kind of makes it even worse!)   I still have no swelling, blood pressure continues to be low around 120/65, have only gained about 23 pounds, and have had just about no aches/pains.  She has been head down for about 2 months and is currently so low that my u/s tech can't believe I am still able to walk without the famous pregnant waddle.   She has also been face down for a while too which has taken just about all the pressure off my lower back and my sciatic pain has been no more.

Sorry I have been away for so long, I have been reading everyone's blog but have been in a weird place for a while now.  I have been rooting so many of you on from a far, and have loved seeing pictures of all the new babies (please keep posting tips and favorite products, I LOVE reading those posts!)

The best thing that has come out of all of this is P and I are in a better place then we have ever been.  We are nervous, stressed, excited, and don't know what to expect over these next few weeks, but we are going through it together.

The NSTs have been picking up lots of contractions over the past week and although they are not painful, they definitely have me wondering when baby is actually going to be coming.  We are scheduled to get induced on April 23 (a full week early.)  I am still working and it has really taken it's toll on me, especially since two days a week I leave work early and am at the doctors for anywhere from 2-3 hours.  Next week is my last week of work and then I have a week to get ready (if we make it!)

We don't have a birth plan because I don't want to go in with any set expectations.  If it goes anything like the last 2.5 years have gone, then nothing will be in my control.  I am not dead set for/against an epidural.  I want to see how I can manage the pain and if I need it, I need it.  I am hoping to avoid a c-section.  The doctor is concerned about my narrow pelvic bone, but if the baby continue to measures on the smaller side, it might be okay.  Of course, getting induced increases your chances of c-sections too, so I do realize I have a few factors going against me already.

The one thing that P and I did decide to do was take maternity pictures because we wanted to make sure we had something to remember this pregnancy by.  We were really pleased with them and of course we had to include Sage in a few!  These were taken right around 32 weeks, I was even carrying low then!