I knew from the previous Friday that I was not dilated at all. The doctor has originally not been able to locate my cervix the week before, but that Friday she used a speculum (OW!) and was able to get to it and give me the bad news that I was not dilated at all. The only good news was Harper's head was literally RIGHT THERE!
We checked into a room (where I would not be delivering) and they hooked me up to the monitors to check for contractions. The bed was ridiculously uncomfortable although the room was a good size and P had a pull out bed. This was not a labor and delivery room, they assumed it would be a while so they weren't in any rush to get me into one. Around 10:30 pm a doctor came in and told me she was going to insert the balloon (which would fall out at 3cm) and put some cervidil on my cervix. The insertion of the balloon hurt a lot but once it was in it was more an annoyance than anything else. Then we waited. P dozed off and on but I barely slept and had bad burns on my elbows to show for it as I continued to try and push myself up on the bed over and over again!
Finally, around 7 am a nurse came in to check the balloon which had still not fallen out yet. They came around with a breakfast tray which I couldn't really stomach. A few more hours went by. I began to wonder if this would take another whole day. Around 11 am the nurse pulled the balloon out and my doctor came in to check me and said I was about 2.5 cm dilated. ARE YOU SERIOUS! That's it! I then got up to go to the bathroom and was having some serious lower back pain (now wondering if it was labor pains) and as soon as I got back into bed I felt a huge pop and water/blood started gushing everywhere. That's when things got a little crazy. I kept having to get up and use the bathroom (I guess your system really does clear itself out) and I was on all fours in the room begging the nurse to take me seriously and get me some meds. They assumed since I was a first time mom I didn't know what was going on so they were not in any rush. There was not a room open for me in L&D which meant they could not start the epidural until I was in one of those rooms. Both P and I were starting to freak out. I continued to tell P the baby was coming. The nurses came in and were rubbing my back telling me I was doing a great job (little did they know I could have been seconds away from delivering!) Finally the doctor arrived and checked me, confirming what I already knew...I was fully dilated and could start pushing IF I wanted to. Cue complete FREAK OUT. MY body literally felt like it was convulsing, I could feel little H moving down and I had no control over my body. I started crying telling her I needed the epidural. Immediately 6 nurses came rushing in with a stretcher and a delivery kit. We had to take the elevator to get to L&D and they were afraid I wasn't going to make it that far without delivering H!
It was the longest elevator ever. I just remember continuing to yell "She's coming" as the dr held my hand telling me to keep breathing (best advice she gave me was to pretend you're blowing out a candle.) When they finally got me into L & D it was pure panic. They turned me on my side and told me I would need to be still if I wanted to get the epidural. I remember my doctor continuing to ask for "George" as he was the anesthesiologist. When he finally arrived I remember P stumbling to put a mask on because he was so shaken up. My proudest moment was being in all that pain and having the ability to stay still enough for the epidural! Within minutes I felt relief. I could still move my legs, but I did not feel any pain. The doctor/nurse decided they wanted me to wait to push because my body needed time to recover. After about a half hour they decided I was good to go. It was so calm. We were talking between pushes, laughing at what state I was in just an hour before. I am so thankful that is the experience I had delivering H rather than the complete chaos that it could have been. I only pushed for 20 minutes...5 sets of 3 pushes each and she was out! I never needed pitocin and the doctor/nurse were in shock at how quickly everything transpired. At 2:35pm we welcomed H. P cut the cord and the doctor got to work on me. I had a third degree tear because H came out with her hand by her face and swiped me! It took about 35-40 minutes to get stitched up and the nurse continued to tell me how lucky I was to get the epidural because of the tear repair. They also put in a catheter because I was so swollen and they didn't want me to get up for the first 24-36 hours to use the bathroom. But, because of the epidural I did not feel any of this.
For the next 36 hours I survived off of heavy pain meds, TUCKS pads, and the fantastic pads at the hospital that also serve as ice. BEST THINGS EVER (if you have the chance, take as many as these home with you from the hospital!) I almost cried when they took the catheter out because I was so nervous to get up and walk around, I was also nervous to go to the bathroom! VERY NERVOUS! The first few times I tried to get up I got super lightheaded and they made me sit back down. When I finally made it to the bathroom I felt a little better to have that over with!
In the hospital we had some issues with H's blood sugar which were quickly resolved and we also had to get her tongue clipped by a surgeon from another hospital because she had a pretty bad tongue tie. But, besides that, she was perfect. And, she was here!
I wish I could say when we got home that Thursday afternoon that it was a walk in the park but unfortunately that couldn't be further from the truth. Breastfeeding was a disaster. My emotions were all over the place and depression had set in. But, as H will turn 7 weeks tomorrow, I can say my life is complete. P and I have never been happier and those difficult newborn weeks are behind us. I will post about breastfeeding/depression/first two weeks soon.
But for now, here are a few more pictures of our little one who has totally won over our hearts...it scares me how much I love her!
