Really Ready?

How do you know when you are ready to start trying again?  I would imagine if it came early to you the first time, not much thought has to go into it.

But, as we all know, that isn't the case for me or probably anyone else reading this blog!

When I went to see Dr. P last week, my main complaint was my freaking LONG cycles again, I am talking 45-50 days.  So, she suggested testing my prolactin which was borderline high before, and possibly going back on Bromocriptine.  Fast forward Monday, and I got a phone call my prolactin is NORMAL.  That should be a good thing, except now there is no reason for my ridiculous cycles.  Along with that, I am now bleeding (for the past 3 cycles) around cd 14-15 AFTER I have already gotten my period, and it lasts about 2-3 days.  That has never happened before.

I can already feel it.  I already feel myself getting tense about all this stuff.  P wants to try on our own these next few months before we do our frozen in October (hopefully.)  He thinks we are going to be "that couple" who magically gets pregnant after having to go through fertility for the first one.  I am trying to explain to him, if my cycles are this long (and I am having mid-cycle bleeding) my egg(s) will suck.  Not to mentions he also has fertility issues.  I am all for giving it a go, but I refuse to get my hopes up like last time, so I guess I am just going to go through the motions?  Ick...

I asked Dr. P what she thought and she thinks after seeing my normal prolactin levels that there may be something else going on.  UGH.  I have an appt. next month with my new doctor and just don't feel like dealing with it before then so I am just going to wait it out and see what happens.

Having Harper this time around makes it all a little different.  I have her.  And she is the best thing to ever happen to me.  I will not let the stress of trying for a new baby overcome me.  I refuse to let her feel even a little bit of it.

Now, talk to me in a few months and see where I am at :) haha

This weekend I will try and blog about what Harper's first year was like, I am really sad I didn't blog monthly updates like many of you did.

Anyone still here??

It's been almost a year since my last post!

In that year so much has happened!  Including harpers first brithday!  She is one!  I have a one year old.

I have been following most of you all along, although I know many of you have gone private and I have not followed through with emailing you to follow your new blogs and that makes me sad.  So many of you have had or are having babies and I cannot believe it and am so very excited for you.

I found out Dr. P is leaving my fertility clinic so I squeezed in one last consult with her last week.  We are not ready to pursue treatments again yet but I wanted to get my feet in the door.  We have one frozen embryo.  Chances are definitely not as good with a frozen versus a fresh but there's no reason to worry about it now.  I am thinking of moving forward with the frozen in the fall and if it doesn't work, taking a break around the holidays and then pursuing another round of ivf come January/February although it makes me sick to even think about it.

Harper has proven to be just like her mommy this first year: intense, clingy, and knows what she wants. I went back to work after 9 months at home with her and although it has been nice for me to put some time and energy back into work I miss her like crazy, almost as much as she misses me!

I have so much more to write about but I really just wanted to reconnect.  I think of so many of you
often and miss being a part of this.  So, I'm back!