Sunday, July 29, 2012

Ho Hum

I just did my third gonal-f injection and I am feeling okay.  I am getting tired of sticking myself in the stomach though, especially now that it is twice a day.  It's been 17 straight days of shots and it will probably be another 7 or 8 more.  Ughh.

The headaches don't seem to be as bad but the exhaustion is still there.  I am in bed every night by 9 at the latest. 

My stomach is messed up. I am not sure if it is because all of the water I have been drinking or the increase in protein or just all the meds I am constantly putting into my system. 

In home news, I am not painting our bedroom (for now.)  P won the battle.  From the beginning, he didn't want me to paint and I fought him on it.  I don't often let him win, but he had a good point.  We have a pretty big bedroom with high ceilings that I would need to use a ladder for.  Between the meds. I am taking and risks that come along with the bloating which could begin sooner rather than later, it's probably not the best time to be up on ladders twisting my body haha.  So, he won, it happens rarely, but he had a good argument :)  I guess if this doesn't work, painting might be a good thing to throw myself into. 

To try and spruce our bedroom up a little I went out and got 3 8x10 frames, put 3 black and white pictures of us in them, and hung them above our bed and got two new lamps on either side.  Still not sure if I am crazy about the lamps, but they are definitely better than what we had before. 



We have a townhouse and upstairs have a really long hallway.  Our floorplan is pretty open downstairs and leads right into the stairs so I had to paint just about our whole house the same color which drives me crazy but not much we can do. So, a while ago, to break it up, I painted the small wall at the top of our stairs a chocolate brown (I guess you could call it an accent wall?) and recently hung up a pair or orange curtains and I am pretty happy with it (the pictures really don't do it justice.)  But, I am actually now considering priming the brown wall and covering it with wallpaper instead.  It is such a small area it should be easy enough and I already picked it out!  Yes, I know I am crazy, but I really like decorating and get bored really quickly with things.  Hopefully IVF will work and none of these projects will matter anymore, but for now they are all I have!






Tomorrow is a busy day, I have an appt. at 7 for b/w to check my estradiol levels (please, please please, don't be high already) then work until 12, accupuncture at 1:15 and Coldplay in Boston at night.  Not sure where I am going to do the shot tomorrow night, hopefully I can get it done in the car before going in.   

Bottom Line:  I am still struggling with all of this.  I am still struggling with the fact that this fertility "stuff" has taken over our life.  I am still struggling with the fact that I no longer feel connected with most of my friends in my life because they don't understand what we are going through and the toll it has taken on us.  And I can't help but think that even when this struggle is over it will still be with me. 

10 comments:

  1. Your bedroom looks nice even if you didn't get to paint. Going through IVF is NOT EASY at all. Does your clinic offer any kind of support group? FInding out women going through the same thing has been the most amazing thing for me. Look into a RESOLVE group or some way to connect with others going through the same thing. Also, have a great time at the Coldplay concert, sounds awesome!

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  2. 1. I really like the color in your bedroom and have to side with P... think of it this way, when you get pg, you don't want to be exposing yourself to all those fumes! 2. COLDPLAY! So jealous. Been wanting to see them in concert for awhile, didn't even realize they were coming to Boston. Have fun! 3. Yes, you do get disconnected from some friends, but they will always be there even if you don't have this thing in common. And in return, you get a whole bunch of new friends. :-D Keep going, you're doing great!

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  3. I think it will always be with you, but just in a different way than now. Hang in there, you are rounding the bend to the home stretch of the meds!

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  4. Hang in there!

    P.S. Where did you order your meds from? Just finding out that nothing is covered by my insurance (ugh!) and trying to find the best deal to lessen the blow a little :)

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  5. I'm sorry your struggling. Infertility sucks...no doubt about it. Stay strong and enjoy your concert tomoorw night! Hope it takes your mind off things.

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  6. I'm going to side with P on this one. Those ceiling are too high for you to paint right now. I like the frames, though! And I like the lamps too.

    I hope the concert tonight is a good distraction. You deserve one. Things are about to get busy IVF-wise, but remember, you are strong and you can do this, and you only have a couple of weeks left. Of course, that doesn't make the struggles easier, and it doesn't mean that I don't keep wishing you didn't have to go through it all.

    If you want to get together and vent, or get together to not talk about IVF, let me know.

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  7. LOVE your bedroom and I love the color of those curtains!! I, too, like those lamps. I'm sorry you're having to go through all of this. I just hope it ends up with a baby in your arms. What you said about it sticking with you...it will. I don't think anyone can go through what you've been through and not be irrevocably changed, despite their best efforts. BUT I'm sure that despite all the difficult changes, you have changed in good ways, too. Thinking about you.

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  8. I have been MIA from the blogs but I do agree with P on the painting. Matt and I just may pay to have the spare bedrooms painted because it will just be easier. Hugs to you as continue on your ivf journey and hoping for a positive!!

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  9. It does suck. I know I've lost my connections to a handful of friends, but I've strengthened connections with others. We are changed by this experience, but the lessons we learn aren't all bad. On good days, I'm thankful for what I've learned on this journey so far. How we learn it sucks, but you'll come out on the other side with some new tools in your life tool box.

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  10. I love your bedspread - your bedroom is so cute! and it is so hard because it really does become such a big part of your life. I had to keep telling myself that this will just be a small part of my journey once we have a baby.

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