How we got here...

Oh...where to begin!  My husband (P) and I married in June of 2009 after being together 8 years.  Like so many other bloggers out there, we have a wonderful pup that has been our source of comfort and love over these past 14 months.  It all started in December of 2010 when after many months of discussion/planning we decided to start trying.  After just a few months something didn't feel right, so I diligently began tracking my BBT, ordered a ClearBlue Fertility Monitor, ovulation sticks, you name it!  Around May I made an appt. with my OBGYN who ordered some bloodwork and everything seemed ok except my Prolactin levels were slightly elevated (29) so she had me come in for one more try and they were again right around 29 and she wasn't very concerned, and told me just keep trying.  September rolled around and my cycles were ALL over the place anywhere from 30-42 days.  After recommending testing for P she wrote me a script for Clomid which I was to start in October.  The Clomid worked as it shortened my cycles to 30 and 32 days and my bloodwork showed I "super ovulated" whatever that means!  Unfortunately since November we have had many hurdles.  My husbands testing has been consistently inconsistent (I will not say anymore than that to respect his privacy) which is why we were sent to the urologist and told to discontinue use of the Clomid. I underwent the HSG test which I was such a nervous wreck for that I almost passed out on the table.  Yes, it was quick and a lot of build up BUT for those few minutes it was painful!  Luckily I did not have much cramping afterwards and besides being completely exhausted I was fine and spent the day relaxing on the couch.

In January we went for our first visit to our RE who I absolutely LOVE.  She was slightly concerned about my Prolactin which I referenced above and ordered an MRI of my brain to see if there was a tumor in my pituitary gland which was messing up my ovulation.  Luckily I came through with flying colors and they gave me a clean bill of health for my brain.  However, she still wanted me to begin Bromocriptine to lower the levels as they were not in the normal range.  The timing of that appt. couldn't have been any better because little did I know I was on my way to a 56 day cycle.  A "normal" cycle should be between 26 and 35 days. 

That brings me to today.  It has been 14 months, I have been on 2 different meds, tried every type of tracking there is and beyond frustrated.  We have another appt. with Dr. P next week where we will hopefully plan out the next steps.  Too much is not making sense and with the issues both P and I are dealing with it just doesn't look like it is going to happen naturally. And to be honest I am okay with that, I have accepted that, what I am struggling to accept is all this waiting!!    The bromocriptine seems to be working because I ovulated on cd 17 which is earlier than I ever have (aside from the 2 Clomid cycles.)  Before this cycle, my last one was 56 days!  To say I was depressed over that length of time is an understatement.  I know 14 months doesn't seem like a lot to many but to me it is an eternity, especially as I approach my 29th birthday and EVERYONE around me is pregnant.  My mom (who is my absolute best friend) continues to remind me that everyone has obstacles in their life at one time or another and for the time being this is our obstacle.

Not sure if blogging is for me but I have found it so helpful to read some of the other blogs out there especially over these past few months.  As much as I don't wish this on anyone, it helps to know I am not alone.  The idea of having a baby is all consuming and it is so difficult to continue to hear "you are so young" or "just relax" without freaking out and going into our sob story but this struggle is bringing out my strength and for that I am thankful.  That's all for now...