So, the preggos are out in full force. Yesterday 4 different people posted on FB how happy they were that they only had 2-3 months left until their little one arrives. I also saw a pic of one of their bellies, someone I am not really great friends with and for just a second it took my breath away. I know, I know, I should really freeze my Facebook account for a little while but it will leave me so out of the loop!
It made me think of the beginning.
When we decided to start trying in Dec. '10 we told very few people. A few months into it one of my good friends told me her and her hubby were going to start trying soon. So, during March and April we would get together, usually over drinks to have pity parties over our BFN and brainstorm different things we could use to enhance our chances. Then, I got the text, she was late. I was genuinely happy, actually ecstatic for her. But, it also made me think something was wrong with P and me. Sadly, she miscarried and it was devastating for her and broke my heart, I remember sobbing at my parents house for her loss. Even though I was having a difficult time with my own emotions I could not stand to see her in so much pain. They are pregnant again and are expecting in June. I am still so happy for her but the pain I feel for myself is a little deeper.
Last January we got together with a couple and somehow we got talking about how we had both thrown away BC and were hoping to start a family. Her mother had difficulty and she worried she would too. Her baby is now 5 months old.
There are many more similar to this but these set the stage, sadly, I think everyone has these stories. Whenever IF comes up, everyone always talks about how they know "someone" that has been through it. Why do I have to be a someone?
In other news, P is feeling better and it is GORGEOUS out! Time to go for a walk with pup, hope everyone has a fantastic week!
Aw yes, the "friend of a friend's daughter's husband's sister's cousin's" IF stories. Love those. What been really fun has been meeting these people and, even though it's been years since they've resolved, having them share their story. Usually for the first time. In those three times, the part (ies) that introduced us usually sit back in shock as the full story is retold: recounting years of worried, hopelessness and despair. Some have been lucky, with treatment working out. Others have found their route through adoption. But the message is always the same: unless you've walked the path, either yourself or with someone you love, you'll never really understand.
ReplyDeleteHang in there. I have so much hope that this IUI will work out for you. And I'm glad to here P is feeling better.
I just hid a FB friend who put her ultrasound pic as her profile pic. Ugh. It bothers me even more because we got married on the same day (in August 2010).
ReplyDeleteThe facebook thing is really hard. I don't want to be out of the loop either, and I don't want IF to have shut down yet another part of my life, one that also gives me a great deal of pleasure. But I agree it can be so hard sometimes. A status, or pic will pop up announcing another pregnancy and it is like a kick in the guts every time. Not to mention the baby bores. 'Look, my child is the next Eisenstein/Brad Pitt' or 'Wow, my kid pooped six times today, call the newspapers' or the competitive sleep deprivation. Guys, no one cares!
ReplyDeleteI know you don't want to be out of the loop [I didn't either] but I would get so sad and angry and resentful at each pregnancy announcement and swollen belly photo that it wasn't good for me- so I deactivated myself from Facebook. BEST.DECISION.EVER. I haven't regretted it once. Not saying it would be the best decision for you- but if it starts negatively affecting you- give it some serious thought.
ReplyDeleteI've opted to just hide feeds from the extremely post-happy preggos. Made me feel a little better. Tough stuff. Glad to hear P is feeling better.
ReplyDeleteEss- I've done the same thing! I am "unsubscribed" to at least 6 pregnant fb friends' profiles. Makes me much less sad and I still get to keep up with everyone else:) My sister-in-law (my husband's sister) and her husband struggled with infertility and when they finally had success after several rounds of IVF she hardly wrote anything at all about her pregnancy on facebook. She never posted a single preggo pic, either. I didn't understand why back then. Now I totally get it! When my turn comes I won't be posting preggo stuff out of understanding/consideration for people who openly or secretly struggle with infertility.
DeleteLindsay- Glad P is feeling better:)
Yes, yes, and yes. My best friend on facebook is the "hide story" feature. Love the background on your blog...did you change it? SO cute!
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